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The most ridiculous version of the iPhone X is here already

et me tell you one thing that is, ironically, for free: I will not be buying the new iPhone X. The reason I will not be buying the new iPhone X is because it is £1000. That’s £1000 of my money that I’ve earned by writing articles slagging off expensive phones. I would rather spend that money on 238 pints, thank you v much.

But, woah Nelly, is £1000 not a fucking jot on the price of the stupidest, dumbest, most ostentatious iPhone X in existence. Let’s just say that instead of buying one of these monstrosities, I could buy 12,619 pints. And let me tell you, last time I did that it was an amazing night out.

The price of this new iPhone X, or the ‘Lux iPhone X Ingot’ is £53,000. That’s 53 times more expensive than the normal iPhone X, which is, as I’ve said, too expensive already.

The reason for this butt-clenching price is because it’s encased in 250 grams of solid gold, for no reason whatsoever. Have that out at a bus stop and a moped’s gonna jack it in under four seconds, mate – you’ve got no chance.

The phone comes from Hong Kong-based luxury designers Brikk, who customize high-end goods for people with too much money in their wallets and in their underwear drawer and probably in their ears, too. They say:

“The Lux iPhone X Ingot is a very rare specimen.

“The Ingot 108 features 108 grams/3.50 ounces of 22K gold.

“The Ingot 250 features 250 grams/8.88 ounces of 22K gold and a mirror polished back surface.”

They also do another range, called the Lux iPhone X Deluxe Collection, which boasts 24K yellow gold cases encrusted with various precious stones, including diamonds. So more extra ridiculousness. If you fancy one of these bad-boys (emphasis on the ‘bad’), they’ll set you back from £9,835 to £16,648, which although cheaper than the Ingot edition, it still costs more than my skull.

Here’s a sickening vid of the full range:

Madness. Absolute madness.

Erm, if you want one, you can get one here. Also, can I borrow £250 quid? Go on mate, you’ve got loads.

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