Finally Somebody Made A Girly Phone To Fit My Pathetic Lady Hands

Oh thank God for Keekoo and the Keekoo K1. The new brand from Chinese company Shenzhen Yi Shengyuan Technology Limited really understands my needs as a lady. See, up until now every phone I’ve used, presented to me completely absent of gendered marketing, has secretly been a man phone for men. I’m honest to God surprised I never noticed before!

Not for lack of trying on some companies’ part. The ladies only market isn’t exactly a new thing — though it’s been a couple of years since we got something so thoughtfully female forward.

I’ve had beef with large phones because my pockets are tiny and my hands belong to a person a third of my height, but like Gloria Gaynor, I survived. If only I’d known what Keekoo knows. That all women are faced with the same baby hand dilemma and need relief in the form of a small pink-backed hexagonal brick of metal that considers the “small hands of women” with a “big curved back design” to “make the phone stay comfortably in your palm”.

You also know that ladies love selfies and need a front-facing camera that has “ultimate selfie software” to “satisfy all sorts of needs of Selfie Enthusiasts”.

You truly get me and my gender Keekoo. You understand that ladies love nothing more than the digital makeup your selfie camera will apply to our hideous 2D-visages using your eight-megapixel camera with 6P lenses, PDAF focus and third generation NXP Smart PA.

I don’t know what the hell that means, and your website has not provided clarification, but I do know one thing for sure.

Finally, I am saved.

This is legitimately part of the marketing for the K1.